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How to make your marriage work

"Till death do us part," and "happily-ever-after" happens to couples who are willing to do what it takes to turn their ideals into reality. This means getting up every morning for the rest of your lives determined to make your best expectations come true.

When the marriage ceremony is over and the magic of the honeymoon takes hold, most couples think this phase will last forever. Indeed, they take the first flush of marital bliss for granted. Mistake no.1. It won't happen on its own. Yes, irritating as it sounds, you have got to work at marriage. Many young people wonder "Why can't it be effortless and fun?"

Well, work might well be the most important four-letter word in marriage. It takes everyday effort and enjoyment in the relationship to make togetherness happen. What is important is partners need to be aware of each other's expectations and work towards fulfilling them. Marriage needs constant nurturing.

Any marriage is the blending of two families, not just two individuals. A partner's expectation of marriage often reflects his or her family background. It is what a person has been accustomed to and the traditions that reflect in the expectations. It is very important to understand the background in dealing with situations. What may be totally irrelevant to you may be a matter of concern in your partner's life.

A willingness to adapt is very important to the success of a relationship because circumstances can change. It is very essential to be happy within one's self before trying to share your life with another. This contentment within you will surely reflect in the relationship you share with your
partner. To build an effective relationship, one must learn how to adapt to change and cope with stress. Be optimistic; hope and belief in good things work miracles.

Discussing important issues like money, children, role expectations, sex, and in-laws before marriage will help set the stage for a smoother relationship. No matter how much alike you think you won't always see eye to eye on every subject or issue. Having differences of opinion doesn't make either of you wrong, just different. Regardless of a spouse's intelligence or personal strengths, he or she does not have the ability to read the partner's mind. Communication is essential and it can often avert great disasters.

It's important to have a realistic view of this person you married. No one's perfect. That expectation should be the first to go. But it's more than that. When we marry we get a particular combination of qualities. Maybe your spouse is too quiet and you would prefer someone more outgoing. You have to appreciate that's part of the package you chose. Change one piece and the
whole puzzle doesn't fit. No human being can fulfill all your fantasies. Wake up, a fantasy is just that. 

Couples who take the time and effort to educate themselves about quality relationships and who practice effective communication skills in their interactions with each other have a greater likelihood of experiencing a satisfying, fulfilling relationship together.
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